The biggest disasters in Premier League history

Article published on Total Football Magazine website. Full post can be found HERE

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The Premier League has never been better. Since it began, we have seen spectacular goals, games and players. But there have been some disasters too. Total Football’s James Hartnett selects his top 10 Premier League disasters.

Derby County – 2007/08 Premier League season

The 2007/08 season was to be a treacherous one for Derby County. After earning promotion by beating West Bromwich Albion 1-0 in the play-off final the previous season, Billy Davies’ Derby County were to experience the worst Premier League season in history.
Chalking up just one win all year, the Rams were soon condemned to relegation by mid-March – the quickest ever in the top flight.
Not only this, but they also hold the record for the lowest accumulation of points, having earned just 11 in 38 games.
Even after Davies was given the sack in November, his predecessor Paul Jewell could do little to calm the storm, amassing 32 games without a single win.
Having survived back-to-back relegation to League One the following season after finishing eight points above the drop zone, the Rams now sit mid-table in the Championship – a position unlikely to change anytime soon.

Howard Wilkinson – Managerial spell at Sunderland

Whilst Paul Jewell’s disastrous reign at Derby County remains the most unsuccessful of the Premier League to record, it was one that only just trumped former FA technical director Howard Wilkinson’s reign at Wearside.
Appointed in 2002 to guide a struggling Sunderland side to safety, he managed just two wins out of a possible 20 during his time at the Stadium of Light.
If it weren’t for Derby’s catastrophic future in the Premier League, Wilkinson’s Sunderland side would have held the record for lowest points tally after achieving just 19 points during his 27-match spell at the club.

Fulham – No-score bore

Whilst Aston Villa have amassed 81 0-0 results during their time in the Premier League, on the balance of play, it is West-London outfit Fulham who have achieved the result the most often.
Of their 405 games in the Premier League, Fulham have played out 49 no-score draws – that’s 12% of their games, more than any other club to have played in the Premier League, ever.
Interestingly, the most entertaining teams (though, on the basis of just 38 games in the top-flight) are Barnsley and Burnley, with both featuring a goal or more in every one of their games to date in the game’s highest division.

Richard Dunne – Own goals galore

It seems that whilst Jamie Carragher has managed to score more goals for Tottenham Hotspur than against them, his ability to score at the wrong end has been eclipsed by Aston Villa’s Richard Dunne.
Holding the record for the most own goals in the Premier League with an impressive nine, Dunne’s most recent slip-up came with a 93rd minute equalising own goal against QPR back in September – a month before scoring his first of the season at the right end.

Kenny Cunningham – Goalless for 331 games

Birmingham’s Kenny Cunningham currently holds the record for the highest streak of games without scoring. At an impressive 331 goal-less appearances, the centre-back was far from renowned for his box-to-box prowess.
The highest current player to reach anywhere near this record is Everton’s Tony Hibbert, having played 248 goal-less games in his career during a 12-year spell with the Toffees (as of April 2012).

Massimo Taibi – Worst signing ever?

Manchester United were always going to have trouble replacing legendary shot-stopper Peter Schmeichel, but when they brought in Venezia goal-keeper Massimo Taibi (pictured) for a pricey £4.5m in 1999, they didn’t expect a player quite as notoriously bad as him.
Far from being a Red Devil legend, Taibi is famed for letting a weak shot from Southampton’s Matthew Le Tissier past his outstretched body during their 3-3 draw that season. It’s little wonder then that United fans class him as the club’s worst signing ever.
WATCH Taibi's error vs. Southampton, 1999/00 season

Fernando Torres - £50m failure

The inclusion of Chelsea hitman Fernando Torres in this list is debatable. Second in the first-team pecking order and unable to play alongside Didier Drogba, the Spaniard has had his fair share of bench-warming.
However, his failure to capitalise on countless key goal-scoring opportunities for Chelsea has seen his £50m price tag come into serious disrepute.
The wayward striker often makes newspaper headlines simply by scoring, with his once-lethal pace, precision and confidence shot to an all-time low since his transfer from Liverpool to Chelsea in January 2011.
His first goal for Chelsea came three months after moving clubs during their 3-0 win against West Ham, ending a 903-minute goal drought.
Two more droughts were to come the following season, with his FA Cup double against Leicester City last month ending a 24-game goal-less run, whilst his strike against Aston Villa a fortnight later was his first league goal for over six months.

Mateja Kezman – Serbian slump

Arriving at Chelsea from PSV Eindhoven in 2004, big things were expected of Serbian Mateja Kezman after he managed an astonishing 105 goals in just 122 appearances for the Dutch side.
However, his time at Chelsea was blemished, having only hit the target 7 times in his following 41 games for the west-London club.
Of this, his four league goals consisted of a penalty and three goals against clubs that would later be relegated.
Having failed to impress, his time in the Premier League was cut short after the wayward striker was transferred to Atletico Madrid the following season.

(Lack of) goalline technology

As any fan will agree, goal-line technology is a much-needed and overdue perk in the world of football. Whilst the likes of cricket, tennis and rugby possess video technologies to clear up any in-game dispute, football is yet to adopt the idea.
From Pedro Mendes’ goal-that-never-was, denying Tottenham victory at Old Trafford during the 2005/06 season, to Chelsea’s goal-that-shouldn’t-be during their 5-1 FA Cup thrashing of Tottenham earlier this month, goal-line technology has been a much sought after addition to the game.
If that wasn’t enough, cast your mind back to Frank Lampard’s disallowed goal during the 2010 World Cup that arguably could have changed the game against Germany. England went on to lose the tie.
WATCH Lampard’s disallowed goal vs. Germany, 2010

Dodgy mascots

Often serving to add to the already red-hot atmospheric cauldron of any Premier League stadium, mascots can help immensely in rallying the troops ahead of the big kick-off.
However, sometimes their purpose, presence, or even personality can come under serious question. Man City’s Moonchester was never quite sure of its/his species, whilst across the road a man dress in a huge red bear suit with horns – presumably a Red Devil – ran the terraces at Old Trafford.
Crystal Palace’s Pete the Eagle went one better, featuring lady-like eyelashes and what looked like a bra, whilst Stoke City’s mascot ‘Pottermus’ is a hippo – not exactly a predatory nor aggressive animal by any means, and rival only to Everton’s Chang the Elephant.

Messi magic overshadows the brilliance of Ronaldo

Article posted on Total Football Magazine website, 15th April 2012. Full article can be found HERE

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It seems that week in week out, La Liga legend Lionel Messi is breaking records at his own free will.

Only recently he broke the long-standing record for most Champions League goals for Barcelona, whilst his league and cup goal tallies purely compliment this statistic.

He is the current Ballon D'or holder, as well as the world's best goalscorer.

However, what with all this publicity and awe over the nifty Argentine, there is an elephant the size of a sperm whale in the corner of the room.

No disrespect to Lionel Messi - after all, it's no fluke that he's got to where he has and any recognition to his remarkable talent is well-deserved - but why isn't Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro (or Cristiano Ronaldo, as he is better known as) receiving such legendary credentials by the press, the public, and the footballing world?

One of Fergie's best signings

During his time at Manchester United over five years ago, Ronaldo was quickly dubbed one of Sir Alex Ferguson's most successful signings yet during the Scot's 26-year-and-counting managerial reign.

Fair enough, public blunders such as Ronaldo's activity during the 2006 World Cup quarter-final between England and Portugal, whereupon he suggested Wayne Rooney should (and was) sent off for his stamp on Ricardo Carvalho, haven't helped ignite his career for the better - and it's perhaps easy to see why the winger dubbed 'the winker' doesn't get the credit he deserves by some England football fans.

However, his scoring tallies have helped put Real Madrid firmly on course for the La Liga title this year, with newspapers having to constantly create new headlines for each hat-trick or two-goal haul Ronaldo manages - something which is happening almost on a weekly basis in Spain.

Indeed, last month he too broke records, having scored 100 La Liga goals in the fastest amount of time since a player's arrival after his brace against Real Sociedad on 24th March.

This rout was achieved after just 92 games, surpassing the record previously held by Real Madrid legend Ferenc Puskas. Lionel Messi didn't even come close to breaking it.

Ronaldo’s proud record at United

Whilst at Manchester United, the winger racked up 84 goals in his 196 appearances - almost one goal every two games, and a record any striker would be proud of holding. This was to be just the beginning of a prodigy.

Ronaldo has taken to life in La Liga like a fish to water, with the league's fast-paced openness suiting his playing style to a tee. He's already scored more goals whilst at Real Madrid than he did whilst at United, at a remarkable rate of 1.1 goals per game too.

Bookies are so assured that he will feature on the scoresheet that the odds of him grabbing a goal is often so low it's almost impossible to profit from. It comes as little surprise then that this weekend saw Ronaldo net his seventh hat-trick of the 2011/12 campaign.

To put this in retrospect, since Messi's arrival at Barcelona he's working up 0.76 goals per game - three in every four matches. Fair enough, he did come up through the youth system and thus featured through a string of substitute appearances, but why does he warrant so much more recognition than Ronaldo?

I won't deny that Messi can easily change games. Just his presence alone on a pitch is enough to make any full-back uncomfortable for 90 tortuous minutes.

Ball glued to his feet

But, the same can be said about Ronaldo. Messi also isn't scared to take on defenders - in fact, he is actively jinking around the pitch with the ball glued to his feet and opponents stumbling over themselves just to attempt to get a tackle in - well, so does Ronaldo.

Furthermore, Messi possesses such flair and flawless technique his 1-on-1 finishing is next to nothing - just like Ronaldo's. I'm sure you can see a pattern emerging.

There's nothing more tantalising for a journalist than to compare players, I understand that. However, endless newspapers, magazines and broadcasters revel in comparing these two playmakers yet seem to always edge towards Messi's camp.

Even when they've both delivered man of the match performances, producing goals and creating chances, Messi still triumphs. What gives?

Will Ronaldo ever get his time in the spotlight, or will the three-year gap in Messi's favour prove the ultimate disadvantage to Ronaldo in this ongoing battle?

Either way, Ronaldo's table-topping performances have nowhere near as much recognition that they warrant and this needs to change. He can even score sublime free-kicks - so why is he still second best?